Humor
«Prefiro não falar. Se falar, meto-me em problemas.»
Tradução de Infinito Mourinho
— Chelsea, questionado sobre o árbitro depois de perder 1-0 com o Aston Villa, 2014
«Olhe, sou treinador, não sou o Harry Potter.»
Tradução de Infinito Mourinho
— Real Madrid, a pedir aos adeptos que não esperassem milagres depois do primeiro jogo da Liga, 2010
«Omeletes, ovos. Sem ovos, não há omeletes. E depende da qualidade dos ovos.»
Tradução de Infinito Mourinho
— Chelsea, sobre construir uma equipa sem contratações, 2007
“If I wanted to have an easy job I would have stayed at Porto – beautiful blue chair, the UEFA Champions League trophy, God, and after God, me.”
— Chelsea, a explicar porque deixou o FC Porto, 2004
«Os jogadores jovens são como os melões. Só quando abres e provas o melão é que tens 100% de certeza de que o melão é bom.»
Tradução de Infinito Mourinho
— Sobre a formação de jovens
«Sou o Happy One.»
Tradução de Infinito Mourinho
— No regresso ao Chelsea, 2013
“At almost 70 years of age has won a Super Cup and another small cup. He is too old to change his mentality.”
— Inter, a responder ao treinador da Juventus, Claudio Ranieri, 2008
“As for Lo Monaco, I do not know who he is. With the name Monaco, I have heard of Bayern Monaco (Munich) and the Monaco GP, the Tibetan Monaco (Monk) and the Principality of Monaco. I've never heard of any others.”
— Inter, a responder ao administrador do Catania, Pietro Lo Monaco, 2008
“Our goalkeeper Trubin, who is two metres tall, went into the box and scored a fantastic goal, a historic goal”
— Benfica, depois do golo de cabeça do guarda-redes nos descontos para vencer o Real Madrid por 4-2 na Liga dos Campeões, 2026
“Just as an example, Hegel says the truth is in the whole, it's always in the whole that you find the truth.”
— Manchester United, a responder às críticas em conferência de imprensa, 2018
“Don't ask me what mistakes they are but I realise that during my career I have made mistakes. And I'm not going to make the same mistakes. I'm going to make new mistakes.”
— Tottenham, na primeira conferência de imprensa, 2019
“It was an intense, vibrant game with a referee who seemed Spanish. It was yellow, yellow, yellow all the time.”
— Roma, depois de perder a final da Liga Europa com o Sevilha nos penáltis, 2023
«Não sou um idiota.»
Tradução de Infinito Mourinho
— Inter, na primeira conferência de imprensa, em dialeto milanês, 2008
«Dois cavalos e um cavalinho. Um cavalinho que precisa de leite e de aprender a saltar.»
Tradução de Infinito Mourinho
— Chelsea, depois de vencer o Manchester City, sobre a luta pelo título, 2014
“I was always humble but you didn't understand that.”
— Tottenham, na primeira conferência de imprensa, questionado se tinha mudado, 2019
“I promised him that [if he scored] I would buy him a pair of shoes that he really likes, that cost €800. … He came over to me and told me not to forget that. Tomorrow morning, I will go and buy them.”
— Roma, depois do bis do jovem de 18 anos Felix Afena-Gyan em Génova, 2021
“I think we still have a chance to win that league because maybe they punish Man City with points and maybe we win that league and they have to pay me the bonus and give me the medal.”
— Fenerbahçe, a brincar com a Premier League de 2017-18 antes de defrontar o Manchester United, 2024
“As for the bicycle in Switzerland. It was in a hotel, made up of small houses, which makes them available so guests can ride to the communal areas, and you would have us believe he was competing in the Tour of Switzerland.”
— Real Madrid, a defender Kylian Mbappé das críticas, 2026
“I love intelligent ball boys, like I was. I was a brilliant ball boy as a kid. This kid today was brilliant. He reads the game, understands the game and made an important assist.”
— Tottenham, a elogiar o apanha-bolas cuja reposição rápida deu origem a um empate frente ao Olympiacos, 2019
“For me, pressure is bird flu; I am feeling a lot of pressure with the swan in Scotland.”
— Chelsea, questionado sobre a pressão da luta pelo título, 2006
“You know, I think boring is 10 years without a title. That's very boring.”
— Chelsea, depois de empatar 0-0 com o Arsenal, a responder aos cânticos de «aborrecido» dos adeptos da casa, 2015
“A team of good boys, a team of nice boys, the only thing they can win at the end of the season is the Fair Play Cup. Something I have never won and have no interest in winning that.”
— Tottenham, questionado sobre uma discussão entre dois jogadores ao intervalo, 2020
“So the stats, many, many times are like an incredible piece of meat or fish but badly cooked. It doesn't tell me much.”
— Tottenham, a responder às críticas pela pouca posse de bola da equipa contra o Liverpool, 2020
“The best thing I have to do is when I leave Fenerbahce, I go to a club that doesn't play in UEFA competition. So, if any club in England from the bottom of the table needs a coach in two years, I'm ready to go.”
— Fenerbahçe, a brincar depois de ser expulso contra o Manchester United, 2024
“If the club decides to sack me because of bad results, that's part of the game. If that happens, I'll be a millionaire and I will get another club a couple of months later.”
— Chelsea, questionado sobre o futuro antes de um jogo da Liga dos Campeões com o FC Porto, 2007
“The 'Mourinho effect' is winning trophies. It's September; you can't win trophies in September.”
— Fenerbahçe, questionado sobre o «efeito Mourinho» depois de uma vitória na Liga Europa, 2024
“I know that Mike Dean has a difficult job. He's on the pitch and it's 200 miles an hour. I wouldn't like to be a referee because it's so difficult. Sometimes I try in training sessions and I realise that it's too difficult.”
— Tottenham, a defender o árbitro depois de vencer o Manchester City, 2020
“The day will come when polls, or AI, pick the team. But until then, I think, coaches pick the team and take decisions...”
— Real Madrid, questionado se mudaria o meio-campo depois das críticas, 2026
“The signal of close your mouth was not for them but for the press. They speak too much and in my opinion they try to do everything to disturb Chelsea. Wait, don't speak too soon.”
— Chelsea, a explicar o gesto na final da Taça da Liga ganha ao Liverpool, 2005
“The first half was the coach's fault; the second half was the players' fault.”
— Real Madrid, depois de recuperar de 3-1 e vencer por 4-3 em Roma na Liga dos Campeões, 2026
“I trust all the referees... whether it's the league or Champions League, before the game I always have the best feelings about the referees.”
— Real Madrid, na conferência de imprensa em Roma antes do jogo da Liga dos Campeões, 2026
“I have 25 coins, I throw the coins in the air. The ones that stay on the table are the players that play, the ones that go on the floor, go on the bench. I do it just like this. During the week I'm having fun, I go to nightclubs every day in Istanbul. It's simple.”
— Fenerbahçe, resposta sarcástica a uma pergunta sobre as rotações, 2025
“You may as well put a cow in the middle of the pitch. And then stop the game because there was a cow.”
— Chelsea, depois de perder em Newcastle, sobre o antijogo, 2014